Funny Short Sayings

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Funny short sayings are fun and witty. The more you know, the better. They are extremely helpful in filling awkward silence, making a stranger in line chuckle, or just to get you into a more positive outlook. Here is a list of some fun ones:


The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin


Cheer up. The worst is yet to come. -Philander Johnson


Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. -Jim Davis


I can resist everything but temptation. -Oscar Wilde


Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you are up to.


Money talks...but all mine ever says is goodbye!


Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.


If its sent by ship it is cargo. If its sent by road it is a shipment. -Dave Allen


If you are going through hell, keep going.


Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.


When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.


When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.


If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd laugh and search with them.


I plan. God laughs.


I may be left-handed, but I am always right!


By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he is usually wrong.


The optimist sees opportunity in every danger...the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity. -Winston Churchill


You can't plow a field simply by simply by turning it over in your mind. -Gordon B. Hinckley


To succeed in life you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. -Reba McEntire


Work will win when wishy washy wishing won't. - Thomas S. Monson


A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. -Steve Martin


Adults are just kids with money.


If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.



I hope you enjoyed these funny short sayings. If you liked funny short sayings you may also enjoy Funny Love Sayings.





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Welcome Quote Lover! My goal is to inspire and motivate you with the help of quotes and sayings from great people. Enjoy!

Stephanie :)